Dr. Dele Omojuyigbe Disappoints me

A CATHARSIS OF A LECTURER IN NIGERIA INSTITUTE OF JOURNALISM-OGBA, LAGOS

                                 
How can one ever satisfy a man who easily picks errors in newspapers? Or would you scramble to impress a man who has once finished all the books in a library? When you meet Mr Dele Omojuiyigbe, a Senior-lecturer at the Nigerian Institute of Journalism, you won't need to scratch your head before you dish out an answer.

What can you say about Mr Dele? I asked a funny but serious student, Nwanna. " Fantastic. ( with his hand going into his mouth as one would do, to swallow solid food in balls) If he were to be a woman, I would have begged her to marry my dad. The way he speak, the way..." Nwanna yet to complete this before some girls came to yank him away being a man of little stature.

"Not that I deliberately search for errors in newspapers, but it is a pity that as I read, errors appear", he says. He teaches with style of a meticulous teacher. He chooses his words, emphasizes with one hand, uses the other to adjust his glasses or to wave at a going lecturer through the window briefly without distraction.

"Pardon me if I jabber", I heard the the last word in the quote from him when he was reading to the class without his glasses, last semester, which I have added to the hollow bank of my vocabulary.

"What is peculiar about me? Well, I don't think I have anything you can write about" he said jokingly, when I asked if I could go on, or be permitted to write about him few weeks back.

Like a snail would prefer the warmness of its shell, he likes staying indoor. His office sometimes could be likened to that of an Army General as questions must be answered before your entrance could be granted. He does this to know the visitor's relevance as he could easily deduce folly from the silly heart of a moron by the way the questions are answered. He naturally dislikes dullards. "Go, I want to rest", he would sometimes respond.

In spite of his Doctorate in English, he values his indigenous language. If he had spoken both to your hearings before, then, there is no other name you would want to give his bi-functional tongue than 'A two hedged sword' or a miraculous Ikogosi water in Ondo State that gushes both cold and hot.

His sense of humour is lucidly dolled out."If my mother were to be alive, she would still be 21" he said, as sarcasm, when joking about ladies who always and never exceeded 21 at any birthday they marked.
All these condiments seem to shorten the lecture periods, that students would not want him to go even when he had dished out enough lectures.

However he either discharges himself by simply saying 'No question' or 'Last question'. He would pack his rubber file-jacket, containing students' attendance and few other documents then swaggers out quickly in his mostly native attire, or fez cap as if he could be kidnaped, at a minute more.

The strict aspect of him, defines his hatred for academics indolence and his discomfort at seeing non-serious students."I don't dash out marks. As a matter of fact, I don't know the owner of the script when I'm marking I only work with your MATRIC number. After a long pause--"if you like, attach your photograph,it doesn't make a change" he would declare.

"Listen ladies, if you have not got at least your degree and you see me outside with one useless big stomach, please don't greet me, and if you greet me by force, I won't answer" Though, this seemed to anger pregnant students, who happened to be victims of that moment, Mr Dele never cared.

"When you don't read, even a fool will take advantage of you". This was said when he told us the story of 'Shaos'. He picks his words as if he edits in his head. He observes punctuations even when talking. No wonder those words are rightly dispensed and inserted appropriately like pouring epo oloorun ( Native palm oil) on a hot well-boiled Ewura yam.

I have not for once found him near the school cafeteria, I wonder if he eats anyway. I am tempted to conclude that he doesn't. Especially, when you look at his flat belly. Could it be that canteen food lacks SEMANTIC meaning? Or maybe have no proper GRAMMATICAL nutrition. But I was surprised, that I had to call a friend, Valentine, when I saw him on Facebook some months back. I had to ensure he was the the one, as if I wanted to catch a thief at his very wrist, he responded with his usual crispness and disappeared pronto like an acrobatic fish, that raises its head above the water and sinks immediately.

Mr Dele has been my mentor, though I found myself a little disappointed, when he couldn't find time to edit my book~~ I had anticipated that he would write the forward note. He complained of much work at hand, of which I am not surprise. I would only be selfish if I get angry at a man who is busy, even to eat.